Fic: Taken For Granted (1/1)

[fiery_flamingo]

Title: Taken For Granted
Characters: Narcissa/Andromeda
Words:  ~300
Disclaimer: Not mine, all JKR.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Incest, femmeslash
Author's Note: Written for forsanethaec over at deatheatercest's Drabblethon. The prompt was "I don't know how to be something you miss; I never thought we'd have a last kiss." and hopefully this isn't the hot mess I think it may be. I'm playing with a choppier style that I like reading but not sure I'm all that adept at writing. Er, hope you enjoy! Edit: With new participant banner flavor!

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As a child, Narcissa couldn't fathom a universe without her sister. As an adult, she feels the deep dull ache of losing something she'd never realized she'd possessed.

~*~

Once, Narcissa forgot herself. It happened so quickly, so naturally that she only realized what she'd done after the silence descended on the dinner table.

Druella's voice had crackled with ferocity. “Never say that name.”

And so Narcissa didn't—not for thirty years—but it always burned on the tip of her tongue, pushed against her lips, struggling to be free.

Andromeda

~*~

“Wake up, flower child,” Andromeda whispered in her ear in the summer of '69, her lips brushing against Narcissa's neck as she spoke, not caring if her sister caught the Muggle pun. Narcissa groggily shied away from the touch, too hot for human contact.

“You'll regret that, come next week.” Andromeda referenced their upcoming return to Hogwarts where separate rooms and too many eyes kept them apart.

Narcissa couldn't bother to care. For now, they lay in the bed they'd shared since Narcissa could escape her own rooms, their nightgowns hitched up in a losing battle against the heat.

“You can kiss me at Christmas, when it's cold,” she grumbled and rolled onto a cooler patch of bedding.

She never considered that an early gift in the shape of a ring from the Muggle Ted—who they'd mocked so mercilessly just a year before—would keep Andromeda from coming home at all.

~*~

Seven-hundred and eighty-five days after Andromeda left, Narcissa saw her sister in Diagon Alley, toting a child. She looked common and blissfully happy.

Narcissa had turned away, carrying on with her shopping with all the grace of a Black lady but behind all her composure, she wanted to scream Why did you go? Why do you get to forget? Why didn't you take me with you?

Comments

[thepretender501.livejournal.com]

Wow! That was wow! This: “Wake up, flower child,” Andromeda whispered in her ear in the summer of '69, her lips brushing against Narcissa's neck as she spoke, not caring if her sister caught the Muggle pun. Narcissa groggily shied away from the touch, too hot for human contact.

And This:
“You can kiss me at Christmas, when it's cold,” she grumbled and rolled onto a cooler patch of bedding.


And the ending destroyed me. I'm seriously choking up for Narcissa. I want to keep reading it over and over. The way you wrote this made me feel like I was there. That was subtle and so beautiful please oh please don't turn me into a huge femmeslash fan *g*. Thank you for writing this!

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And never fear, this is only my second femmeslash piece ever you're probably safe. XD

[forsanethaec.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I love all of it! Just beautifully written, seriously. The first paragraph and the Christmas line were fantastic. Wow!! Thanks so much for writing this sad, lovely gorgeousness for my little old prompt. I'm just rereading over and over. Wonderful writing.

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

Oh yay! Thank you!

I'm glad I didn't botch your prompt since I really liked it (Taylor Swift lyrics or no xD). I hardly write slash of any sort ever so I get nervous about doing it wrong. *snerk*

[elle-blessing.livejournal.com]

THIS WAS FANTASTIC.

I love the "choppier" style. You told a story of half a lifetime in 300 words and it was lovely and powerful. *flails*

I agree with thepretender501 - the ending killed me. You're so good at making me feel what your characters are feeling. I really felt Narcissa's quiet anguish at the end.

*happy sigh*

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I'm so glad this doesn't just suck. >.< You know I like to experiment and then worry and nitpick and just generally be too concerned with whether or not a sentence sounds better with 'that' in it or without.

I have issues.

Anyway, I think of this style as the anti-pinksheep/wench style. We're a verbose lot so here I'm trying to see how many ideas I can convey per word. More bang for my buck, you could say.

You're so good at making me feel what your characters are feeling

Again, I'm glad you think so since it's another major concern of mine. Am I emoting? Do my character's actions make any sense compared to her motivations?

Dood, I am so in my own head. I'm just going to shut up. xD



...Wait, you read femmeslash? For me? YOU DO LOVE ME! xD

[elle-blessing.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've ever read anything by you that sucked :P (because yes, you nitpick your writing all to hell and back)

I love you anyway. (SEE. I DIDN'T SAY 'ANYWAYS'. You've broken me of writing or speaking it XD)

I like the more bang for your buck style. I need lessons. Srsly and stat.

Yeah, I always feel your writing. ALWAYS. I want to emote like you. Trufax.

[leigh-adams.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. Gosh.

Sam, this was beautiful. Seriously, you conveyed everything into so few words. I mean, this was amazing. Like, I don't even like femmeslash, and I'm in awe of how great this was.

Bravo, sweets. Bravo. :*

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

I love replying to comments a over a month later. -_-

Thank you for reading my femmeslash, mi corazon. ♥ I'm glad that you liked it in spite of the icky girl on girl action ;D

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

You must write more femmeslash!

You packed quite a punch into 300 words and really told a story. My favorite part was: “Wake up, flower child,” Andromeda whispered in her ear in the summer of '69, her lips brushing against Narcissa's neck as she spoke, not caring if her sister caught the Muggle pun. I had that image in my head when I saw the prompt, and you wrote it so beautifully.

Lovely drabble.

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Aw, shucks, thanks. :D I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was great to try something new.

Sorry my reply is delayed. -_- Not quite a month later but close so close.

(Also, hai, new friend!)

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

*shrug* I'll forgive you, if you write more femmeslash? : lol

Hai new friend!

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

lol, mebbe. It's more about the prompt than the pairing for me a lot of times.

Though I did eye femmefest earlier but I need to finish my deatheaterfest Parvati/Macnair thing first. *eyes it* And exchange fests give me an ulcer. 'What if this isn't what they wanted????' Commence freak out.

/ramble xD

[dexstarr.livejournal.com]

I did eye femmefest myself, but I really prefer to read signups before I signup for a fest, so I will unfortunately be skipping.

I have the exact same freakout! I always always worry and agonize over fest fics. Then I always wonder if they just said they liked it to be nice. XD

[fiery-flamingo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you have a point. I really wish I could see what the possibilities were before signing up. Hrm.

I always wonder if they just said they liked it to be nice

EXACTLY. I try not to read too much into what people say or don't say but I know I've done it and so could they. Terror!